Fly AwAy

inside_out_048 @ 2006-05-24T19:53:00

2006-05-25T00:55:38Z

well..
i get along with my parents
and i havent smoked pot..in about a week
granted thats not long
but its long for someone who smoked it every fucking day.

im fucking moving up in this world

inside_out_048 @ 2006-05-02T13:33:00

2006-05-02T18:34:25Z

im gunna stop smoking cigarettes
im gunna stop smoking pot
im gunna stop being an asshole to my parents
im gunna bring my grades up in school
im gunna accomplish something..

fuck all this bullshit.

inside_out_048 @ 2006-04-23T11:41:00

2006-04-23T17:02:51Z

so i really havent been able to handle myself lately
i was told i shouldnt run with the wrong crowd
but it looks like the crowd i've been with since sophmore year
is turning into that wrong crowd

i've become a hipocrite
and i hate it

i have surgery starting on thursday - tuesday
thats another reason i cant handle myself
so much has happend lately

my aunt has breast cancer
my brother got stabbed..

i rather liked my life before
when i didnt really enjoy getting into trouble
and doing really stupid things

Im Not Afraid To Cry

2006-03-30T18:23:58Z

I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don't bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I'm ok
But that's not what gets me

What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was tryin' to do

It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But I'm doin' It
It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone
Still Harder
Getting up, getting dressed, livin' with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken

What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do

What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do

Not seeing that loving you
That's what I was trying to do
Ooohhh....

inside_out_048 @ 2006-03-29T22:15:00

2006-03-30T04:23:33Z

everytime we talk i smile
it makes me happy that we are still able to communicate.
although i wish it was more then just communication
i wish it was that we were together again.
because everytime you text me..
it makes me feel like im one step closer to you
although we dont see eachother.
talking to you makes me survive the day.
i know it sounds pathetic
but i want it to last like this
because in my hopes..
one day we will be able to overcome everything
and the confusion may be washed away
but thats my dream world.
im not sure if anything will ever happen between us again
but we have been through alot together
so anything is possible
and that is how i look at things now
i have changed alittle
gained some weight
but with that...i hope your proud of me
no matter what happends
i want you in my life.
weather its me and you together again
or just becoming friends
i want it to work either way...

just want to let you know
that i miss your smile
your touch
your laughter
your sweetness
your personality
just everything about you
made me...me.

so again. what ever happends happends
and i will deal with what i am given
but this is just what im dreaming of

"Sometimes i just want to know what its like to be you"
"turn off the lights, and turn off the silence, cuz all of our moves make up for the silence. And oh the way, your makeup stains my pillow case.."

i still love you.

inside_out_048 @ 2006-03-28T16:58:00

2006-03-28T23:02:30Z

it feels like it has been forever.
i dont even know how long it has been..
all i kno
is that 4 days from now is going to be the worst day ever for me

the day i looked at you
and you smiled at me...

i dont even want to think about it anymore
but i cant help it...

inside_out_048 @ 2006-03-24T15:53:00

2006-03-24T21:57:31Z

C.C.S college in detroit michigan.
Marine Corps.
Photojurnalist for national geographic..

ENOUGH SAID!

i finally figured out what im going to do with my life
im going to CCS private college to study up on my photography and my journalism.
THEN! im gunna go work for national geographic magazine as a photojournalist and be shipped off with the Marines.
YES!! i can do it
i talked to a marine rep. today
and he said that its possible
and it would be awesome..

GOOOOOOD!! im ♥ing life.

inside_out_048 @ 2006-03-09T13:07:00

2006-03-09T19:11:13Z

so i have been doin alright latley
working and hanging out with matt emily and martin
met alot of new people these past few weeks
im lovin it
haveing a good friend of mine living in my basement is awesome
i always have an excuse not to be home.

martin is taking me out to dinner and a movie on friday!
matt and em are coming with
the guys get to pick dinner and us girls are picking the movie
wee i cant wait!

im sick again thou..
i stayed home from school because i cant even talk
my glands are sticking half way out my neck
ugh
i hate being sick.

Later
♥ ♥
katie

inside_out_048 @ 2006-03-03T12:30:00

2006-03-03T18:32:20Z

why am i waisting my life away
and getting so worked up about this

i tried to tell you that i didnt do it
and you dont believe me

oh well...your mistake

im done with all of this

inside_out_048 @ 2006-03-03T00:05:00

2006-03-03T06:11:17Z

your really killing me inside.

and for all of you who believe it
i dont know what to think of you anymore

to think that i would do something this horrible
is just outrageous.

i dont understand it
do i really come off to you guys as some revenge seeking bitch?

i couldnt even think of something that horrible
i would never do anything to hurt him like that.
ever...

all i did was love him
aparently too much

i give up on trying to defend my self on what i know is the truth
believe what you want..

i dont care what you call me
or what you say about me
or even if you think its pathetic that im saying this here.

things went down the drain
and i dont know what i could have possibly done to cause all this

to you, i am sinceraly sorry that this has happend
who ever did it to you is a complete bastard
i do hope things get better for you

but i guess thats all i can say
since you wont speak a word to me

My Humps, Your Lumps WHAT?!

2006-02-22T22:28:58Z

so today is more of a laid back day.
i just cleaned the shit out of my car hell yeah.
i get the parts for it next week.
new hood, new grill, new trunk, new tail lights..
awesome shit.
and in apirl im getting it repainted.

fucking score.
also im getting my head unit installed this friday.
aint life grand?!

So Im gunna be a godmother soon.
it is justin's kid
and his name might be brendon michael

The rest of today might be pretty slow.
im sapost to go to Vinny's tonight at seven to help him out.
poor kid idk whats going on there.

i hope he feels better thou =)

LATER!

♥♥
Katie
♥

Edit: today i did nothing really. cleaned my brothers room it looks niiice
i cleaned it because i have a roomy! my friend from school got kicked out of his house.poor kid, so i asked my mom if he could live with us and he is.

how cool is that.
see...my parents are THE SHIT.

inside_out_048 @ 2006-02-21T22:01:00

2006-02-22T04:04:54Z

so i just had the funnest day ever.

me shawna and sam hung out pretty much all day
we went to katie mccarthy's house before she had to go to school
and we (not including shawna) got completely cashed.

then i drove shawna home and we ate food at her house and watched tv until like seven.

then me and sam went to vinny's to surprise him because we had nothing better to do but he couldnt come out, so i took sam home and went back

but he stood me up. what a jerk.

men these days, who needs them!? i know im threw with them.

amen..

hopefully tomorrow brings another adventure of me and sam.

♥♥
katie marie
♥

inside_out_048 @ 2006-02-20T22:10:00

2006-02-21T04:11:29Z

i want to go to sleep for about five years.

thats all i want to do with the rest of my life.

inside_out_048 @ 2006-02-02T21:49:00

2006-02-03T03:50:21Z

yeah so whos got a broken nose and a banged up car?!

thats right i do.

fucking A...

inside_out_048 @ 2006-01-25T09:45:00

2006-01-25T16:02:29Z

i hate the way my classes are set up.

First is Advanced Junior Algebra~ I have Philbin again..she is soo boring. I sit infront of becca and thats about the only person i like in there. I sit next to liz mikes and across from crystal f. great..I have an F in there already because she only put in two grades and they both suck.

Second is Computer Applications of Design and Tech.~ I have Konsella. He seems pretty nice so far, but he's too laid back. i have an A+ which im not complaining about but he forgets everything. It sucks thou because everyone is seniors in that class. Howcome everytime i take a computer course, im the youngest one in there?! i betcha im gunna be the only one who passes again just like freshman year in the Cad Programing and Concepts Course.

Third - Fourth is Junior Advanced American Studies.~ what was i thinking taking a two hour class?! I have alright teachers. Mr. Smith the history teacher is really wierd and likes to make up stories and play them off as true. Ms. Stienbring just plain rocks as the english teacher. Alot of students think shes really mean. shes just really blunt about everything. you piss her off..she'll let you know.. its awesome. I sit next to sam for the whole two hours. second half i sit infront of kyle..what were they thinking?! this is the most anoying kid ever..he never shuts up!

Fifth is Physics~ i hate this class..nothing else much more to say. i have the most pathetic lab group ever *besides dan*. Im the only girl in my group and this kid alex thinks he always knows what hes talking about and im wrong all the time. i hate it..what ever. ew.

Lunch ~ well i have to say, lunch was soo much better last semester. when it was just us girls *me, shawna, lidia, and melissa* now kyles there *shawna's boyfriend* and no one really says much of anything. lunch just isnt what it used to be ne more.

Sixth is Photography~ i love photography A+++ all the way bitches.

Seventh is Team Activities Gym Block 2~ im on a volleyball team with matt, kyle *shawna's boyfriend* noah, emelio, dave and darjei...lets just say i hate gym. or being a girl on their team.

my schedual sucks.

next years seems just plain confusing. i dont think it helped much that im taking consumer ed and goverment over the summer. that left me a hole in my schedual and had to fill it with alot of crap.

classes im enrolled in:

journalism 1/journalism 2
television production/ television production 2
ferensic sciences/ whole year
finite math/ whole year
english 12/ whole year
health and wellness/net and racket

inside_out_048 @ 2006-01-20T15:24:00

2006-01-20T21:25:08Z

Dear Santa...

Dear Santa,

This year I've been busy!

In January I ate my brussel sprouts (1 points). Last Monday I helped kaspykreme across the street (6 points). In June I bought porn for xcalmb4thestorm (10 points). Last Friday I helped kissme555 see the light (8 points). In November I bought porn for bittersweetguy (-10 points).

Overall, I've been nice (15 points). For Christmas I deserve an Easy-Bake Oven!

Sincerely,
Inside_out_048

i just now found this. had it copied to my computer for ever. dont you just love how it says i bought my own boyfriend porn?! wtf is up with that...

Im So Rich That It Ain't Funny

2006-01-20T01:49:04Z

I honestly dont think me and my boyfriends realationship could get any better.

He's so cute sometimes.

See this is what i love. it might not seem like much. infact it might not seem like anything at all. I went over to his house today to see him before he went to work.
i was completely exhosted and i ended up falling asleep on his chest. He needed to shower and he was beeing so cautious as to not wake me up and put a pillow under my head but i woke up anyway. he asked me if i wanted a cigarette and i noded..so i reached out for him to help me up and he came over to me..picked me up..and carried me. I honestly think that was the cutest thing ever. Well he took his shower and i fell back asleep and he was trying so hard to be quiet. untill he had to wake me up to go to work.

You my darling..are the best thing ever.

baby i hope your reading this..
because i just want you to know that you mean everything to me
never forget that

you might agervate me sometimes
but i love you more then anything in the world.

inside_out_048 @ 2006-01-14T11:57:00

2006-01-14T17:59:30Z

i wish my parents would grow up
and stop bitching at eachother for one day..
JUST ONE!

my mom needs to just shut her mouth sometimes. shes so selfish

I know Shes Not Perfect.

2006-01-14T06:37:03Z

Looking back..its been a pretty long time.
for some reason it feels like forever.
its only been nine months and it feels like it has been forever.
yeah sure we have our ups and downs..and yes you do make me cry when you yell at me. but thats just the way it is. and i love him no matter what.

in a way i believe that we are two different people sometimes. I admit, i am a more lovey dovey romantic type..i love talking on the fone..i love when my hair gets played with, i love curling up on your lap while we watch a movie. i need to hear you say goodnight to me before i go to sleep.
so it sounds babyish..i dont care..

it seems unfair to cry when i dont get those things, it really does. its not right. am i being selfish? honestly please tell me.

when you walk into a room and something catches your eye
you dont really know what it could be but it steals your breath
could it be the way he walks
or just a simple smile
you dont know but it makes you flutter
when you walk into that room..and the butterflies just wont stop
could it be the way he just cant take no for an answer
or how he is determind to make you laugh
no matter what it is
just know that you should keep it in your heart
and make him the happiest man alive..

"i know shes not perfect, but she tries so hard for me. and i thank god that she isnt, because how boring would that be?"

inside_out_048 @ 2006-01-12T17:15:00

2006-01-12T23:18:34Z

i love you forever and for always.
i dont know where i'd be
being in love with you makes perfect sence.
you are my best friend
you stand by me, and you believe in me
like no body ever has

end of story.>---*
|
|
|
I Love You<------*

Dont Just Touch

2006-01-12T04:00:27Z

beggers cant be choosers. Life isnt always what you want it to be. You can try for things, but you never really know how its going to come out in the end.
I've heard it said, that people come into our lives, for a reason, bringing something we must learn, and we are led, to those, who help us most to grow, if we let them, and we help them in return, well I don't know if I believe that's true, but I know I'm who I am today, because I knew you...Like a comet pulled from orbit, as it passes a sun, like a stream that meets a boulder, halfway through the wood, who can say, if I've been changed for the better, but, because I knew you, I have been changed, for good.

i dont have a car

2005-12-22T06:47:15Z

so my mustang died. =/
i got in it at johns, tried to start it and it wouldnt.
so my dad came and jumped it.
it worked for alittle while
i made it to the light at roselle and bryn mayr
it stalled then started filling with this aweful fuems
i jumped out and started gaging.
we couldnt get it started again.
so my dad put it in neutral and tried pushing it with the blazer and it wouldnt go ne where.

so we got in my dads car and drove off, but i got really upset because i didnt want to just leave it on the street like that because someone was going to hit it because they wouldnt be able to see it.

so we saw a cop, told him what happend, and the cop my dad and i pushed the car into the nearest parking lot.

i took all my things, locked up the car and left.
got it towed this morning and thats all she wrote =/

hopefully it gets fixed soon because i cant last long without a car.

i guess this is a good way of getting me to quit smoking because my cigarettes are in my car, my dad wont take me to get them, and i dont want to pay for another pack.

ouch

inside_out_048 @ 2005-12-19T12:37:00

2005-12-19T18:39:24Z

so yes.
i have to go on a diet.
i have to gain 3o pounds as fast as i lost them.
or im gone.....

4 months to gain 3o pounds..

im on one of those carb diets starting today..not one of those no carb diets..all i can have is carbs for the next four months.
wish me luck because im gunna need it

=/

One More Thing

2005-12-14T00:36:23Z

okay maybe im not done yet.

which style of shoe you think would look better?

which is an actual dress shoe or

which is a ballerina shoe

Let Me Tell You How It Is

2005-12-14T00:30:29Z

so yeah. i know i have some time and everything, but this is kinda what my dress that me and my mom is going to look like. its for prom =). Instead of the plaid like ribbons, they are going to be crisscrossed. and not so many..i think you get the idea.

we are probably going to be adding some sort of strap, im not sure yet. Im getting kind of sick of strapless dresses, they never stay up! lol

what do you think?

and im not getting a tiara but i think i might get something like this:

okay im done looking 5-6 months into the future now